Parenting is...messy. Dirty diapers, spitup, green puke, blood, spilled milk. All messes that as a parent we are designed to clean up. Many of us know this going into parenthood. We are warned about these things and others like "Don't leave a baby in a bathtub" and "sleep is a necessary thing that a new baby will deprive you of". We're also told other things, warnings of what to tell our children about danger, drugs, the opposite sex.
But we aren't told many things. We aren't warned of the internal pain the first time our child puts a bandaid on us rather then the other way around. We aren't told of how our daughter's body will feel heavier than a heartbreak when she's crying over the death of a friend. No one tells you that in between snacks and diapers and tv time, you are always losing. The children are constantly growing, constantly evolving. In essence, parenthood is about working your way out of a job. It's about switching roles. The parent becomes the child and the child becomes the parent.
We also aren't told sometimes of how our minds will go blank when we're trying to do the right thing for our child. We aren't told of the hiccups of life that in essence are the memories of the future. We aren't told that in parenthood, you will learn to collect guilt like refridgerator magnents.
Letting go, growing up, slipping away from us. In contemplating this post, it really was going to be much lighter, less heavy. In fact, the first time I thought of this post I was so distracted I walked out of the bathroom and into our hotel room without my pants on. Which would have been okay except that all my kids were there and my son laughed at me. But today the reality set in that my kids will need me less and less each day.
And while that's a good thing in that I won't be changing diapers forever, it also means that one day, they will be changing mine.
Your children will *never* not need you. They'll just go through a phase where they think they don't. I'm twenty-six, rounding towards twenty-seven, and I've never needed my mother more. The only difference is that now I'm mature enough to tell her...
ReplyDeleteI get what you're saying and yet, I'm 30 and although I love having my mother around, I don't "need" her everyday the way I did when I was younger. And you're right, we do still have a certain need and yet it's not the same...and as our parents get older, they will need us more and more, turning it all around.
ReplyDeleteYay! It's the no pants post!
ReplyDeleteWithin the first days of bringing Pie home, I remember my husband asking, "What do you think she'll look like when she's older?" The other day, I asked him if it was what he'd pictured. He couldn't remember how he'd pictured her. I don't know how much that relates, but that's what this made me think of.
this started out a little sad...almost made me think about being a little sad...and now I'm laughing so hard I'm afraid I'm gonna be in trouble!!!
ReplyDeleteIt was the last line, huh? And I have to tell you that it was this post that made me want to share this blog with you.
ReplyDelete